Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Deflowering

A component of good writing is not being able to say what you want in as many words as you can, but the opposite: saying what you want, what you mean, in the least amount of words you can.

How's that, you might ask.
Read the following and tell me which of the two versions you prefer:


"I can't believe you just said that," she said, her tone mad. Her hands were shaking their anger, her mouth tightened and her eyes shot irate piercing arrows at him.
"I can't believe you just said that," she shouted. Her hands were shaking and her eyes shot piercing arrows at him.


You will learn, in time to turn off the editorializing and the flowery words. What are flowery words? Beautiful, amazing, magnificent etc.


You can write: "He looked inside her striking eyes as the breeze blew gently her gorgeous hair."

Or, you can write: "Her long, silky dark hair flowed gently as he gazed into her deep green eyes."


  • If you need to explain it with an adjective, you haven't written it well.

  • If you are using more than one adjective to describe the same thing you'll tire your readers.

2 comments:

tsipi keller said...

hello melly,
can i have your email address?
thanks,
tsipi

Melly said...

Hi Tsipi,

I looked at your website but couldn't find an email address for you.

Regardless, you can email me at meravalaATyahooDOTcom

Melly