Friday, August 11, 2006

Why I'm Here

Many people have asked me, and still do, why I left Canada and came to Israel at this time. Many people also asked me why my family (and I with them) chooses to stay in the dangerous and bombed north. I'm going to try to explain even though some of it might not be completely rational.

The first part of the question is easier. Anyone living away from their immediate family can understand that. Few things are more important than being with your family in times of crisis. To give and gain support and comfort for and from the ones you love most. I don't think I need to give examples, it's probably self explanatory.

The second part is a bit trickier. Why we choose to stay.

Try and imagine this: The country you live in is under attack. The city you live in is being bombed.
You have a choice - give up and leave the home you know and love, or stay and fight for your one and only home. You have no other after all. You can't just go to another country, and if you do, you'd be a refugee. You can't take all your family with you either as some cannot leave because of things not under their control. Would you leave family members behind? Would you leave your home?

And then there are the soldiers. They fight. For you. They give their lives daily. For you. They don't have to. They can choose not to (might spend a month in jail, but that's it). But they go in and fight. The least you can do is support them by being strong. They need that.

Am I making any sense?

While I personally may have another home, my family doesn't. I guess the way most people here look at it - if you don't fight for your home, no one will.


rdl said...

I absolutely understand the first part but I guess I don't get the 2nd because I guess i would just want to get everyone to safe ground. The soldiers are fighting the war and I think everyone else should evacuate if possible to safety. Buildings can be rebuilt but I'd hate to hear of the loss of any of your lives. I just can't wait til this stops and you are all safe.

jmk said...

Hugs and heart full of love for what you say. You are perfectly understood.. YOur wonderful and I wish you a wonderful life. I think every day,,,,, this may be the beginning of a whole new era for all of you, and to leave now would be something you wouldnt want to have in your heart in years to come. You know we only want you safe is why we want you to leave, but I now i understand, I 'feel' what you say, and so support your decission more clearly. Thank you Melly for all you've given us. You speak so well, or write so well, so we can learn through you lessons that we need to learn. My prayers are with you.. I pray for a new life, a new world of peace, and love,, and yes happiness for all. with love jmk

Deborah said...

That makes perfect sense, Melly. Since this began, I've often wondered why you and your family chose to stay when it is obviously very dangerous. But on a small level, I can understand why you made that choice. No one likes to be forced from their home.

Anonymous said...

sounds like you need to ask yourself where you think home is.

with your family or with your husband.

we all have choices

leaving your husband to be with your blood is one thing.

leaving your blood to throw yourself onto unexploded rockets is another.

why you havent made preparations to try and get everyone out to safety - where you have the option to do so is very strange

Karen Lee Field said...

Having been through a crisis myself recently, I understand the first part of your explanation fully. When trouble hits, you do "have" to be with your family. It's essential.

Having never been through what you're going through now, I don't fully understand the second part, but I believe that everyone does what they have to do. Some go to safety. Some stay. Until we are faced with the same situation, we cannot know which way we would choose. I respect your choice, Melly.

Trée said...

Melly, you make perfect sense to me. I would like to think under the same circumstances I could do the same. Thoughts and prayers in this trying time.

Anonymous said...

It's not up to me to criticize anybody's choices. I just hope you and your loved ones stay safe. But I know what my choice would be.

I have a child. I cannot imagine tolerating her in any danger, adult or not. I'd insist she leave if at all possible if caught in a war zone. I'd sacrifice nearly anything to make sure she was safe, up to and including my own life.

fred charles said...

It's easy for someone living somewhere safe to say, "why don't you just pick up and move." Much easier said than done. It's also a matter of pride, I would think. Why should they have to leave? If you look at the big picture, it's much more complicated.

I've heard in the news that there may be a cease fire on its way. I keep my fingers crossed.

jayne d'Arcy said...

I do understand. From the time I was a kid, we never really had any sort of roots, picking up every couple of years and starting over again. I've always longed for those roots, that belonging that you have in a community where you've grown up. "Home" means much more than just the roof that's over your head. It's your family, your friends on either side of you, the little shop you bought groceries from, the school you graduated from; the community. When you have those roots, and you're forced to leave, it's not the brick and mortar you're leaving behind, it's a way of life that made you who you are. I would fight tooth and nail for that.

Georganna Hancock said...

No material possession, including scraps of dirt, are worth losing a life.

Melly said...

I didn't expect everybody to understand and that's fine.

Let me just say:

1) It has nothing to do with material possessions. My material possessions aren't even in Israel, for example. If that's what people think this is about, then I totally didn't explain myself properly.

2) Israeli culture is somewhat different. Most Israelis go to the army at 18. Parents have no control after that over the kids, not to mention their lives.
As far as younger kids are concerned, I guess most parents feel their kids are safest with them.

It's okay, I don't expect everybody to understand, but I just wanted to make a few things clear.

Marsha said...

How stressful things must be for you. I am stressed about this whole war thing and my country isn't being physically attacked. I wish we could all just get along.

Anonymous said...

Im glad you mentioned how hard it is to be forced out of your home, and how you would rather risk your life than leave it. Because now I can assume that you know how Palestinians feel about the SAME issue.How thousands of them felt in 1948 and hundreds of them still feel today when their houses are brought to the ground so roads connecting settlements could be built instead.

I don't mean to sound offensive-it's just reality and I hope you realize it.I wish peace on everyone.