Friday, March 24, 2006

What is Crazy? - My Crazy Cousin's Wedding

I've told you about my crazy cousin last week or so.

Well, I've been to his wedding last night. It was beautiful, small and low-key. Both bride and groom were very "shanti" like, simple. They wore sandals, plain clothes and the food was vegetarian.

All in all, it was an amazing wedding. Just beautiful and happy.

My cousin remained himself. Hasn't changed much. He didn't look me in the eye when we spoke, he got very excited and embarrassed when the attention turned to him (which was a problem since he was the groom) so he looked down the whole ceremony, he got very emotional on a number of occasions and he wasn't sure how to handle himself around so many people. But other than that he looked good and I was so happy. The poor guy, when I first saw him I hugged him and didn't let him go for a few minutes, although I did manage not to weep.

My crazy cousin is still somewhat of a fanatic, but he works for a foundation that takes care of stray dogs and he and his wife want to adopt a child with retardation or disability. They're unbelievable.

My crazy cousin always did, and still does, teach me a thing or two about giving, humility and being content with one's life.

I love my crazy cousin who I start suspecting more and more isn't crazy at all, only the victim of wrong choices (made with the best intentions) that didn't help the problems he does have (I suspect some emotional problems, learning disabilities and ADHD), but rather made them worse, and didn't help him or give him the tools he needed to learn how to handle and deal with society and people around him in the best way possible.

I wish his childhood was different.

My crazy cousin is well respected and loved among his peers and his wife's family. He only remains crazy among my family. He's my crazy cousin.


Carter said...

Sounds like he's happy and actively involved in making the world better. Makes me wonder which of us is the crazy one.

Deborah said...

I'm happy for your cousin. He sounds like a neat person.

dog1net said...

Crazy sometimes means we don't always follow expected patterns of behavior, and sometimes it may mean engaging in endeavors others wouldn't even consider, but as long as the choices one makes are not self-destructive or debilatating, then who's to say. The question is whether your cousin is happy in his skin. With some of your recent posts, I like how you're delving into larger questions. Doing so gets us into the nitty gritty of making discoveries, and that's what writing's really all about.

Anonymous said...

Nice post, Melly. Very reflective -we tend to be so judgmental when it comes to family.

You should cut your crazy hubby the same slack. Ooops - I upgraded the audio equipment again, crazy me!

M Noo.

Melly said...

Carter, exactly what I was thinking too.

Deborah thanks :)

Thanks Scot. I believe he is happy. He's found a life partner who loves him and he loves her and he works with animals, which he always loved and preferred to work with.
I guess I'm trying to think about these issues and so I'm sharing my thoughts.

M Noo, or should I call you crazy hubby???
Oooops? What do you mean ooops? :)

Bryan D. Catherman said...

Every family has a "crazy cousin." There's that cousin that was caught in the closet making out with a bride's maid, and that guy who comes to every event drunk. What about that cousin that hasn't had a job for 30 years and sits in his basement all day and night playing video games?

It sound to me that your crazy cousin is more of an amazing cousin.

Georganna Hancock said...

Bad choices, bad health, and bad luck often revolve around each other, forming a constellation others call "crazy".

Melly said...

Bryan, I'm not sure about that 30 yr video game player... Just kiddin' - of course, I know what you mean, and thanks.

Georganna - ain't that the truth?!

Nienke said...

Sounds like sometimes 'crazy' might be better than 'normal.' And, sounds like he is definitely moving in the right direction on his life journey.

Melly said...

Thanks Nienke, it does sound like that, doesn't it?

Jonathan M. Dobson said...

Bad choices, bad health, and bad luck often revolve around each other, forming a constellation others call "crazy".


Crazy is often the most effective agent of change.

Melly said...

Jonathan, interesting way of putting it. Thanks.